bleh
vent post, feel free to skip
So I've tried not bringing it up much cause I don't like talking about it, and honestly it's kinda a cliche trans person thing that I'm sure anyone else has a decent grasp on it. My family relationship isn't great. Wasn't great before I transitioned, and doing so certainly isn't gonna help. Cut off most of my family because they suck, you know how it is.
For the last year or so I've tried reconnecting with my mother, and it's like pulling my teeth out. Just the lack of effort, the lack of care, the unending thought that she can do no wrong. Completely disconnected from reality, ignorant, and prejudiced. Every time we talk I feel like maybe it'll be ok, but it's constantly one step forward, two steps back. And she's always been so manipulative, constantly trying to act like she's supportive, and trying to make me feel bad when I speak up. She's always trying to get me in debt to her, especially recently with my financial issues.
I just want to vent and scream into the void because I always get my hopes up and am left fucking crying when inevitably I'm reminded that I'm dealing with someone who simply will not change and does not care how she hurts people. She's racist, bigoted, ignorant, hateful, judgemental, selfish, manipulative, and I'm sure if I took a bit more time I could think of more descriptors of how awful interacting with her is.
I dunno. I'm just sad.