rough day
Today started kinda eh. I didn't wanna go to work, and nearly called out, but I knew there wasn't a good reason, so I went in. Got put on shipping all day, which always makes my back hurt way more than when I'm dispensing, so that was annoying. But the worst thing, was being on my lunch break in my car, hearing a loud thump that shakes the car, and the ac stops blowing cold air. When I turn off the car and start it again, it has a repeating knocking noise. I immediately am hit with another dose of 'car issue dread', and when I get back into work, I just say fuck it and ask a manager if I can leave early so I can get my car to a shop before my partner leaves for work.
Luckily, they are totally fine with it, and when I start my car, this time with the ac turned off, the knocking noise isn't there. It drives perfectly fine to the shop, who say they can get it in on Monday. My wonderful partner picks me up, with some fast food, and I cry all the way home cause I'm so sad about how my car won't stop torturing me. It's been rough.
After eating and my partner going to work, I say fuck it, today can't really get worse, so I wear a nice outfit that is very gender non-conforming, and go to my partner's mother's house because I'm just going to bite the bullet and make it known that this is how I dress and I don't care. That at least, goes very well. We have a nice long chat about everything and nothing, and I even send her a picture of the card for my favorite little clothing store. My outfit is never directly addressed, but this was a big step, and I'd like to get to the point where she gets my pronouns right and I can just fully be myself. Will it happen? I dunno, but I figure I can try and if it ruins everything then fuck it who cares.
I will persist, despite the horrors. <3